Hello hello hello my people! I was at a conference a couple of weeks ago and listened to this great speaker and author of Oh Shift Jennifer Powers and she spoke about several different things but one thing that really spoke to me was how co-workers will compare themselves to each other. How new employees look at their first 90 days and would for some reason compare themselves to someone who had been there for years. I’ve seen this all the time working, but also with family, friends but more recently, with other parents, particularly mothers.
Why do we compare ourselves to other people? How can I compare how I mother to my one son to a woman who has older children or has been a mother a lot longer? Why do we compare ourselves to other people and their status or the progress on their journey? Myself included used to look at where someone is in their life at their age and think Damn I don’t have that. I haven’t done that. If I was doing something similar, I would tell myself that I should be able to do it just as good or better because they can. Why? I don’t know what they went through to reach their current level. I don’t know what they’ve had to fight or sacrifice. More importantly, I should be happy with my progress, my journey and my path. I should be proud of my accomplishments and the goals that I’ve crossed off the list. I know that there will always be someone better than me in anything I do but that doesn’t mean I’m not good at it. I just may not have been doing that as long as they have. Their strength is not my weakness and vice versa. I know when I compare myself to someone else, my self talk is destructive. I make myself feel ten times worse while I speak their praises. It doesn’t do anything but kill the vibe and my self-esteem. A couple of months, I started looking for tips to help me with doing for me in a positive way.
- Practice self love. I started reading a daily affirmation in the morning and would say it all throughout the day to remind myself how special I am.
- Be present. I stopped looking at everything I hadn’t done in my life and instead looking at what I have done. Not everyone has written and published books. Not everyone have taken the first step toward their dreams. Not everyone has even had the opportunity to be a mother. I should be proud and grateful.
- Connect more with nature. Ever notice how flowers just do what they supposed to. The seed is planted, they bloom, they shine, and they bring happiness. They will lean towards the sun for more light but they never lean over each other so that the other doesn’t get light. They shine at their own time.
- Be inspired by others.I had to really check myself on comparing myself to this one friend of mine. I would look at her life and think that I would want that. I had to change up my mindset. I stopped looking at what she had and started applauding her for having what she had and would look at how she got them. I know that we won’t have the same path and that’s ok. That doesn’t mean that I can’t look at her path and see how I can make it my own. She inspired me on how to write and how to grow into the woman I am now.
- At the end of the day, I had to tell myself that I was born for a reason. My mother did not endure carrying me for nine months and have me as her first born to be someone else. The Universe doesn’t want me to be someone else. I am me and should be proud of me, what I’ve done and what it is in store for me.
So ladies, be proud of you and what you do. Don’t allow the next person dictate what you do and how you do things. Your children love you, you’re doing a great job at work, you’re beautiful, you’re special, and you got this! You are a wonderful woman, sister, daughter, mother, wife, girlfriend, friend and you! You were not made to be someone else. You do YOU very well!