Speak Your Truth about Infertility

Hello everyone. Peace and love to you! I hope you’re doing well. If not well, I hope okay and if not ok, I understand. Sometimes you just feel like blah. Sometimes you just want to feel blah. It happens and there’s nothing wrong with it.

Within the last month or so, two women I admire have shined a light on infertility, particularly in the black community. These two women are in the public eye and on their own terms, decided to talk about the struggle of having children and lengths they had to go to do so. Our former First Lady, author, and speaker- the wonderful Michelle Obama and actress, motivational speaker and author Gabrielle Union. I must admit that I was surprised to hear about both having issues. One -it’s not something we generally talk about everyday but also, how can they have problems with fertility? How is it even possible? Oh yeah -even I, who speaks about this all the time and who also went through it, asked that silly question of how can they have this issue? I forgot for a millisecond that despite their celebrity or public persona status, they are women first. They are women who wanted to have children but found that their path to motherhood was not going to be the same as their peers. Why was I so shocked about it? How can I have this in common with Michelle Obama?!!

WHAT DID IT DO FOR ME?

My heart for some reason got full for a minute almost like validation. It was like See America, black women do have this issue. We all are not baby factories (as I have been told by another black woman!). We all do not have the blessing of getting pregnant on the first, second, third or fourth try. Then looking on social media, I see more and more women talk about their struggle.

As I am applauding their honesty and transparency, I’m thinking to myself why couldn’t I find you guys a couple of years ago. When I was going through, very few were talking about it and although, I was very grateful, I still felt alone. I spoke with two people in my circle about this only because they were going through too. Other than that, it was a struggle, a fight, a silent cry between me and my husband and still even to this day, people will ask me why did it take so long to have your son or why did you wait so long or NOW the question/statement – why haven’t you had a second yet? Don’t you think that Xavier needs a sibling? To that -I just smile and sigh. Of course I would love to say ‘How dare you ask me a question like that? How do you know that we haven’t been trying? What if I’ve had several miscarriages and feel like giving up? What if something horrible happened during childbirth and I’m not able to have more children? All of things could have happened and yet I just smile and sigh because they don’t know. That’s why it’s so important for people to talk about and share their story. You never know who is going through or who needs to hear about you so that they can speak up. This is a revolution that should be televised over and over again.

A MESSAGE TO MY PEOPLE IN THE STRUGGLE

So to the beautiful courageous souls in the public and private eye -I support you. I commend you for sharing your story. I value you. You are not alone and you will get through this journey. No matter what the outcome, you are fearless, you are strong and you are beautiful. Sending peace and understanding to my people.

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