His Hair Story

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Hello everyone. Peace and love to everyone! I send peace and good vibes and flowing jazz notes. I’m currently listening to Miles Davis and whenever I listen to him, I feel like the notes are flying above my head like a scene from a Disney movie. Yes – I am very imaginative.

The other day, I was asked why don’t I talk about having a biracial son. My answer was a question –what would I talk about at his age now? My husband and I both make an effort to have representation in the house. We buy books with African American authors and watch cartoons with African American characters so that he can see them both even if he doesn’t know yet. Other than that, at this age, I hadn’t come to a situation where it has come up…until now.

My son’s hair has stumped me once or twice. It’s fine but curly. My husband has thin brown hair whereas I have thick coarse hair. Xavier has tight curls on top on the sides but the back of his hair would lock up almost and become knotty. It would be just one section but it was noticeable because it was right in the middle. I know what products to use and not to use with my hair but because Xavier’s hair is fine, I know I can’t use grease because it would be too heavy. Then I thought about using the same products my husband uses which is usually something quick and easy and generic.Then I stopped and thought -Xavier is a mix of us. Why not find something for him? Are there products for his hair type? What can I use to keep his curls?

It’s funny because when I got married, I immediately researched all I could about having a biracial child.I knew that despite how much love we show him at home, he will struggle with both sides. The older he gets, the more the world will ask him who is he, who does he identify with and all that. Then course, despite what he will say, the world will still him as a black man. I read as much as I could and yet, I did not look at hair regarding a boy. Girls I used to know who were mixed would get taunted about their ‘good hair’ but I never heard about it with boys. So here am I with a son and had no idea what to do with his hair.

So I went to the internet and looked up mixed/curly hair products. I read reviews, watched YouTube videos and after thinking long and hard, I decided on one that initially caught my attention because of the name. CurlyKids Mixed Hair HairCare was like BAM in my face; like it couldn’t get any easier than that. Straight and to the point. I ordered the four pack where I got the shampoo, conditioner, detangling spray and a creme conditioner. After using it the first time, I was glad that I chose this product. It wasn’t too heavy on his scalp. It smelled great with the coconut oil which I love. His hair isn’t as frizzy as it was. I’m able to get the knots out from the back and it will curl back up. So far, I’m loving it on his hair. Now, the discussion between my husband and I is when should we cut it. Just a trim –definitely nothing life changing. It seems to be growing by the minute and  although I don’t want to lose his curls, I’m trying to talk myself into maybe just a trim. A true trim -not a WHOOPS like I’ve gotten in the past. Damn beauticians. Certainly not all; just the ones who I went to when I was younger and couldn’t stand that I had long hair. Whoops -got off topic. So that’s the next first we have to overcome. My husband doesn’t even want me to come. He keeps saying he and my father will go. I don’t know. We’ll see. When it happens, you’ll know.

For those with biracial children, what are some products that you have used for your children? Parents -when did you decide to get your son’s first haircut? Am I tripping? Am I weird? Please let me know. Until next time…

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