I have one more week until my girls trip to Jamaica and I am so excited. I cannot wait to recharge, reboot and release all of my current stress. Going through my packing checklist yesterday, I made sure I have everything. Sunscreen -check. Passport -check. Some dope sunglasses and a cute beach hat -check and check. Mommy guilt -check check check check check!
I’m only going to be gone for four days but as the days get closer and I keep talking about everything from the food to the drinks to the music and the calmness from work, I look over at my beautiful son and think about how hard it is going to be to leave him. Luckily we have to be at the airport pretty early so although he’ll be with us, he should be sleep as I slowly get out of the car. I can’t promise that I won’t cry or whimper or worry as we’re walking to our gate but I know that he’ll be fine. There is nothing wrong with Mommy having some time to herself,
It doesn’t stop there though (insert cough behind the computer screen). Not only am I taking this girls trip in a week without him but my husband and I are taking a two week trip without him in February! I will be away from my soon to be two year old for two whole weeks. Mommy guilt for that trip hasn’t kicked all the way in yet and maybe by that time, we’ll be ready to go and my parents will be ready to have and indulge him and vice versa.
Mommy guilt –this overwhelming feeling that I am doing great damage to my son because I am doing something I want without him. Now I don’t feel this when I go to the bathroom or when I try to meet friends for a quick three or four drinks. I don’t feel the guilt when I drop him off at the babysitter’s but I do feel it when I go to work or when I want to sleep instead of watching Word Party again after six episodes. The day I went back to work (check out I hated going back to work blog post), I felt so bad for leaving him. I just knew that I would come home and he’d be walking, talking and grabbing my car keys because he’d have a date. Just the thought of it threw all my emotions for loop and I was a miserable mess. That’s what I’m trying to avoid for these trips.
So how do I stop it? Is there a way to get rid of Mommy guilt? Why doesn’t it seem like Daddy doesn’t get Daddy guilt? Is there even such a thing as Daddy guilt? What can I do? I can keep telling myself that this trip is a good thing. Mommy getting away is her way of recharging her battery and keeping her from going to the looney bin. I should keep reminding myself that he’s going to be in good hands. I should know that during my time away from him, no alien like beings will swoop down and kidnap him. Or that during the time Mommy’s away, he will not forget who I am and will still love me when I get back. Yeah –I have nothing to worry about.
Or do I?