Remind that New Mom She’s not Alone

Peace and blessings my people. I hope that you had a good Monday. I told myself this morning that I was going to have a good day. Well, despite the going back and forth with some offenders, going back and forth to the training room to speak with the new employees and the on again off again rain, I can say it was an okay day. It was a lot better than the past couple of days. Last week was full of emotions and uncertainty and doubt and straight up blahness. On the flip side though, I had some great talks with my bestie, cuddles with my baby boy and finally allowed myself to cry a couple of times. I hadn’t cried in a long time and I think the water finally boiled over in the pot. It wasn’t the ugly bellowing holding my stomach cry that I still need but it was a start.

The last couple of weeks weren’t all bad either. I got back into my yoga. I bought a healing stone, a smoky quartz which I’m happy to learn about and my buddy/coworker had her baby boy. My other coworker and I have been waiting for what seemed like forever for this little guy. We helped her announce it to the rest of the work crew. Trust me -she needed the back up. We planned her gender reveal and baby shower at work and then saw her at the hospital. After holding her little cuteness, I gave him back and said I’ll be over next Wednesday so you can take a nap, drop a number 2, cook –whatever you have to do. I got you. That thought then inspired some writing.

I remember when I was pregnant, everybody from family to friends to coworkers were saying If you ever need anything, let me know. I can come over and cook. I’ll watch the baby while you nap. If you need anything, please give me a call. Let me know if you want me to watch the baby. Blah blah blah. It’s all very nice and polite and I love all of my family and friends and coworkers but let’s face it. I think out of all that, it happened once. Not because my people are liars or cruel or not being helpful, it was me. Me being the new mom, pushing through lack of sleep, lack of self-esteem, and lack of parenting skills, didn’t willingly call anyone. First of all, we are the new mom. We’re learning how great but hard how things can be. More importantly we don’t want to show that we can’t handle it by asking for help. We held this child for nine months. We are the new mom. We will figure things out eventually. Secondly, who wants to call someone and say can you come over so I can pee? I haven’t showered in three days. Can you come by for a second? Hey –remember when you said you would vacuum my floor? I’m free today! It’s like if we’re calling you, we’re asking you to stop what you’re doing in your life to spend 30 minutes, an hour or two with us so that we can get out of our breastmilk covered clothes, take a brush to our shock therapy hair and catch a couple of Zzzzs without freaking out. I will say for me I would think about calling but then say to myself they’re tired from working. They’re exhausted from sitting in long traffic jams. They probably have a 1001 things to do -why are you trying to add 1002? So I wouldn’t call. So my advice to you –if you have a friend or family member who  recently had a child, don’t wait for them to ask for help. Do it. Plan it. Say you’re going to be over on this date at this time and let them have a breather. Even if you were going to the grocery store, call her up and say I’m at Kroger’s and picked up that tea you liked. I’ll be over around 4p. That new mother will appreciate and love you for it. She doesn’t have to ask or beg for help and you’re being the good friend. You’re welcome. Until next time my people.

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