My Break-Up Letter to Laundry

Dear Laundry,

I have to be honest with you. I’m getting really tired of this. This is my final warning. I have told you time and time again that I don’t want you anymore. This relationship is too much for me. I know in the past, I couldn’t wait to see you but within the last six months, it has gotten toxic and overwhelming. I mean I can’t even leave the house before you’re calling me telling that you’re back. I know you’re back. I thought me avoiding eye contact and walking past you would do the trick but I guess not. You would rather be in denial than face the truth. What is the truth, you ask? I will tell you. You’re needy, judgemental, a burden and a liar. Remember when I caught you in a lie when you said there wasn’t anything else I could do? Then I found two dirty socks under the couch. They were left by you on purpose. You know what – I am done answering to you. I will not allow you to ruin my life. How about this though -what if I offer you my husband? He’ll show you good time. You guys can have a folding and ironing party before I come home so I’m not in the way. I’m just saying that I am not the one for you anymore. Please leave me alone. It’s beginning to be ridiculous now. Please just go.

Signed,

If I have to fold one more towel!

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