When They’ve Reached a Milestone

Next week Xavier will have his 1 ½ year check up and I’m excited to share all that he’s been doing. I’m also recognizing the fact that my little baby is growing up (insert tear drop).
When I was pregnant, I was part of a little pregnant tribe. My neighbor, my bartender (it hit us both), a former classmate, two co-workers and a family friend all were pregnant at the same time and I loved it because venting didn’t feel like venting because we all were going through it. It’s beautiful watching all of our babies as they’re growing up and seeing their personalities shine through. Each time one would hit a milestone, I would check with the others and see where their children were. I would ask about trying this or if Xavier was doing that, I knew he was right on track. Most of the time, he was. As a newborn, he was very alert. He rolled over early, had no issues with tummy time, took himself off the pacifier at 7 months, held his bottle early, said DaDa pretty early. He was moving right along. I will admit the only milestone that made me nervous was walking. He was crawling like crazy and loving every minute of it but for the longest time, he would stand up with ease but seemed too nervous to make that step. Then I made the huge mistake of comparing him to the other kids.
Around Xavier’s first birthday, I was talking to the tribe and nearly all of the other babies had walked and been walking. At first I was thinking and saying out loud he will go at his own pace. I don’t want to rush him or get upset because the second he starts moving, it’s over. We’re going to be on the move 24-7 so we’ll hold onto these moments. When he reached 15 months, my husband and I were wondering if we should be concerned or just ride it out and see what happens. I knew that I shouldn’t worry about it and I knew that he does things at his own speed and I knew that he will start walking. I knew all of this but underneath, I was beginning to get a little worried.
It was about a month ago when Xavier took those couple of full steps. He stood up, stepped, stepped and stepped, then looked back at us and sat back down. He did that a lot which made us think he knew how to walk. He’s just playing us. He probably skips, does the Running Man (90s version, the real one!), and runs while we’re sleeping. This day, he kept going. He walked some at my father’s house, at my sister in laws and at home. Now, he’s been walking ever since. My heart fills up when watching him because I love seeing that when he gains more confidence with each step. So new and first time moms, do not freak out if your child hasn’t hit some milestone. Every child is different and they move at their own pace. Just because our trusted Google and/or the hundreds of books we bought as new mothers say that at the age of six months they should be doing this and at eight months, they should be doing this DOES NOT MEAN they will be and that is okay. The biggest lesson, of course, is do not compare yourself to other mothers and do not compare your child and their progress with other children. You are hurting your psyche and your child’s when you do. It’s hard. I know. Like I said, I knew the right answer but still got worried and looked at other people for validation. You and your child are doing great. They will do what they want when they are ready and we cannot rush anything. I promise you that they are fine. Peace and love and let me know what you think. As new moms and first time moms, we overthink quite a bit. What have you thought way too much regarding your baby? Until next time.

2 thoughts on “When They’ve Reached a Milestone

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  1. My wife and I have twin 22 month olds. They were born 7 weeks early. They have always done everything “slightly behind”. It is incredibly hard to let things happen on their own and not get anxious “that they should be doing it by now”.
    I’ve said before in my writing, that as parents, it almost feels like we’re just looking to checking off milestone boxes. We fret about something and as soon as it happens, we look towards the next thing to fret over. Our current anxiety has been about talking and has been so the last 4-5 months. Speech therapy has helped, but it has been a slow (to us) process.
    Next up for us once we cross this bridge? Potty training. We’ll try to live in the present for a bit before we get to that 🙂

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    1. Yes! You are so right about checking off lists. I seriously had to check myself and live in the moment. I am sending you peace and love -you have twins!! I could only imagine. Thanks for reading and good luck with potty training!

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