Look at this pouch. What is my stomach doing? I wasn’t skinny before but now, I’ve got a weird stomach pouch thing. You still find me attractive? Please don’t look at my stomach! Thank goodness I didn’t gain all that much. I was all baby. I’m scared to have a second child because then, I’ll really blow up. My whole body has changed. I weigh the same as when I got pregnant. So why do I look different? I wonder how long it will take to get rid of the C-section scar.
I have said every last one of these confidence breakers to myself a couple times a day during the first three months of being a mother. I knew deep in my heart that it was wrong and I even tell other people don’t talk down to yourself and speak and think only greatness because negativity like this will affect you. It does. I hated shopping for clothes before pregnancy because my body was so awkwardly shaped but after having a baby, it’s gotten oblong and obtuse and obscure. Then one day, I was looking at myself in a body length with just a bra and panties. I did the woman looking at herself thing. I tilted my head one way, made a smirk, tilted my head the other way and pulled on my stomach. I turned to the left and examined my outline. I turned to the right and thought I still got a great butt. I faced forward and stared at my stomach. At that moment, I started tearing up. Two years prior, I would look at myself and ask what is wrong with my body? Why can’t I produce a child? Why wasn’t I given the strength to do what millions of other women have had the chance to do? I asked those questions every day all day. Now here I am, looking at this body thinking about changes. I made a funny face to make myself laugh and I let out a WHAT THE FUCK! (Excuse my language for those who don’t swear.) This body has created life. You were able to grow a healthy baby who is a beautiful mix of you and your husband. You did what you thought you couldn’t do. You did it! As I said these words out loud with my eyes closed, I had my hands on my stomach and felt myself smiling from ear to ear. I was speaking life into the body that gave life. I told myself from that point forward to always appreciate this body and love this body and to encourage myself. Yes my body has changed. I had a baby. Yes I have a weird stomach pouch looking thing that sometimes makes trying on clothes difficult but eh. Yes I have a C-section scar but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. So ladies, I am sending love and peace of mind to you through this blog post. I want you to appreciate you and your womanhood. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are the epitome of resilience. You are love. Embrace and cherish it. Now I don’t want these words to just stop at mothers. All ladies do this so I want to reach out to all of US! To my sisters, friends, young and mature –love who you are and the body you breathe life into. Speak life into your arms and stomach and legs and butt (or lack of) and thighs and feet. Speak love into your mind so that it travels through your veins. Once again -you are strong. You are beautiful. You are you. Embrace it.