Because of my high blood pressure, my doctor decided during my 37th week that I would be induced. Being induced to me just meant that I wouldn’t have the ‘Oh my gosh! I think my water just broke!’ moment. I know -I watch too many movies but other than that, I didn’t think anything else about it. I was taken in on a Wednesday. I didn’t have my son until Friday. 77 hours of labor (insert screaming face here) which eventually resulted in C-Section because I was mainly just exhausted. I repeat -77 freaking hours!!!!
I was happy and sad about having a C-Section. I was happy because I was terrified about the labor process and sad because I wasn’t going to experience the actual labor process. I think though if I had done things a little differently or if the nurses would have suggested a couple of things, I might not have been there for 77 hours. Here are five things I wish I would have done during labor.
1 -I wish I would have gotten out of the bed. I didn’t get up to walk, stand, dance or anything. I was in the bed, not necessarily needing to get up but at the same time, I was being pumped with IV fluids the whole time. So after having my baby, my feet were so swollen that the pain was unbearable. I definitely would have gotten up at least once a day just to move around.
2- I wish that I would have communicated more of what was going on to family and friends I pretty much only talked to my husband and on occasion, my family. They came up to check up on me but I didn’t reach as much as I think I should have. Like ‘Hey it’s hour 30 and still no baby. Wanna tell me some jokes?’ I don’t know why but I thought I would be a burden talking about it when we were all just waiting.
3-This goes with #2. Documentation. I’m a writer (obviously) and I wrote down a lot during the pregnancy. With all of that time (77 freaking hours!), I wish I had wrote down the what I was feeling, the when and the whys. I wish I wrote down the emotions, the ticking of the clock, the scent in the room, my new found love for crushed ice with grape flavoring, the fact that I could sit through each contraction with no problem AT FIRST and how I thought the epidural shot was a joke. (I thought I wouldn’t feel anything but I was sadly mistaken as time went on.)
4-I practice a lot of mantras and affirmations. I have many favorites in a lot of subjects like peace of mind, career and money. I had a heap of birthing affirmations and meditations and I didn’t do any of them. I think had I said them, I would have calmed my nerves a little more and the baby.
5 -I wish I would have allowed myself to be more vulnerable. Up until the very moment that he was born, I was very stoic and thought that I had to be strong emotionless one. Whatever was going on, I could not allow it affect me or the baby. I wish that I would given that strength to my husband or my parents so that I could breathe for a moment. It wasn’t until I heard Xavier cry for the first time that I showed emotion. I balled my eyes out from joy and relief and happiness. Course, when we got back to the room, I was stone face again. After that, I felt like I should have allowed myself to be the blubbering happy happy joy joy new mother who just went through 77 hours of labor! Hell, I waited four years for that moment! I should have taken it all in.
Things happened the way they did and they are memories that I will forever share with Xavier the older he gets but maybe, with the next pregnancy and labor, I won’t be as hard on myself as I was. The moral of this is relax, Cassandra. Be vulnerable and in the moment. Experience every second and enjoy it.
Is there anything you would have done differently? Let me know. Maybe what you did will inspire others and me to do the same.